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Life Lessons?

Ok so this will have to be a two poster, because much has been happening in our lives as of late.
So I started a new post about a week ago and then got completly distracted and never finished, but I have been wanting to jabber on about my new found understanding.

And this is it, Two weeks ago the Bishop told the primary president that we as the primary presidency were to sing in sacrament meeting the following Sunday. This was on Saturday night. So I get a phone call at 5pm telling me that the next day in sacrament meeting I would basically be witnessing my own slow agonizing death. Now if you know me, you know that I absolutely LOVE love love music, but can not for the life of me sing. I like to pretend I can, as long as no one else is listening. And I can sing to my babies at night, but they are very forgiving.

So here I am asked to stand in front of the entire congregation and not fall apart, and sing well enough to not chase away the Spirit from the meeting. We practiced a bunch of times Saturday night, and we actually didn’t sound too bad, of course 3 out of the 5 of us were really great singers. I was not one of those.
I was really really nervous that I was just going to fall over and die. And thats basically what I did.
I have this annoying little quirk that happens anytime I am nervous or I know a lot of people are watching me, I tear up, and if I think about what I am doing, I start crying. Its stupid and I haven’t really been able to get it under control. So I for sure didn’t want to stand in the front of Sacrament Meeting bawling my eyes out. So what do I do? I cry.

Yeah one of the girls I serve with told us that if we are having a hard time singing, just think of the words to the song. That was so the wrong thing for me to do. So for the first two verses I just fell apart. It wasn’t pretty.
But I pulled it together for the last verse and slinked down to my seat. We did get a lot of compliments so I am sure it wasn’t THAT bad.

But after church I told Rob that I feel like I had failed just 100%. And that I really didn’t accomplish what the Bishop asked us to do. Rob said to me “You did it, Right?” and I had.

A couple of years ago if this was asked of me, I would have found an excuse to not go to church that day. But as scared as I was, the thought of not doing it didn’t really even cross my mind. I for sure was petrified of making a complete fool of myself, but I did it. And I feel like a better person because of it.

And bonus for anyone that sits by me in sacrament meeting, because I am no longer scared to sing the hymns for fear of someone hearing my crap voice. Because I know that if I can stand in front of the congregation and sing then certainly I can sit in my seat and belt out praises to my Lord.

Heather
Filed under: Uncategorized | Posted By: Heather @ 3:35 pm - February 5th, 2008 |